August 12th, 2012
Coffee with 'D' went well, she told me someone in the group had asked her out recently, she had rejected the offer graciously yet firmly. I told her about Eve and I in response. All about it. I was never ashamed of what happened between us, being able to look at everything in retrospect i think more than anything I wanted to protect Eve and myself from the meddlesome group conscience that pervades Alcoholics Anonymous. People talk about each other in AA and it's not always flattering. Most of the time when people are talking about one another it's not glamorous, most of the time no one has random good things to say about anyone else. That's people in general though. We tend to focus on the negative and looks for differences between us and those around us, this trait is even more prevalent in groups of alcoholics. Why compliment someone else when you could be complimenting yourself? 'D' also told me that her ex-sponsee Jane has been having a rough time lately. She's been talking to 'D' sporadically, saying things like;
"I wish you were still my sponsor..."
Last week 'D' ran into one of us that had gone 'Back out there', which is Alky code for 'Relapse'. this Relapser told her that he and Jane had been hitting the town together on a regular basis.
" I really hope Jane is alright after everything we went through." The relapser told 'D'.
Sometimes I wonder if 'D' and I becoming a 'we' was ever a viable option. She's always been there for me since I started going to meetings and doing the deal. We're part of the 1981 group in recovery, a small troupe of 30 somethings born in '81. I wonder about it, but not seriously, I doubt it would ever pan out mostly because we're too much alike. Sounds like a lame chick-line but I value her friendship too much to risk pursuing anything else. Lately my thoughts have been consumed by another person all-together.
Coffee with 'D' went well, she told me someone in the group had asked her out recently, she had rejected the offer graciously yet firmly. I told her about Eve and I in response. All about it. I was never ashamed of what happened between us, being able to look at everything in retrospect i think more than anything I wanted to protect Eve and myself from the meddlesome group conscience that pervades Alcoholics Anonymous. People talk about each other in AA and it's not always flattering. Most of the time when people are talking about one another it's not glamorous, most of the time no one has random good things to say about anyone else. That's people in general though. We tend to focus on the negative and looks for differences between us and those around us, this trait is even more prevalent in groups of alcoholics. Why compliment someone else when you could be complimenting yourself? 'D' also told me that her ex-sponsee Jane has been having a rough time lately. She's been talking to 'D' sporadically, saying things like;
"I wish you were still my sponsor..."
Last week 'D' ran into one of us that had gone 'Back out there', which is Alky code for 'Relapse'. this Relapser told her that he and Jane had been hitting the town together on a regular basis.
" I really hope Jane is alright after everything we went through." The relapser told 'D'.
Sometimes I wonder if 'D' and I becoming a 'we' was ever a viable option. She's always been there for me since I started going to meetings and doing the deal. We're part of the 1981 group in recovery, a small troupe of 30 somethings born in '81. I wonder about it, but not seriously, I doubt it would ever pan out mostly because we're too much alike. Sounds like a lame chick-line but I value her friendship too much to risk pursuing anything else. Lately my thoughts have been consumed by another person all-together.
No comments:
Post a Comment