August 23rd, 2012
Slowly getting back into the swing of things back in town. It's one of the barista's 'Bad Company' days. I never knew how many great songs they had until I started hanging out here. Today is the first day of my newly invigorated job hunt. Gonna get a bunch of job applications today, hit the job center and then the YMCA and try to reignite my regular workout schedule as well. Donating plasma today, nothing like a 6 mile walk and a plasma donation to clear your head... followed by another six mile walk with 850 milliliters less plasma in your system. Been thinking about Eve a lot lately. I know I shouldn't be a relationship right now, doesn't keep me from wanting one. When I was drinking I always wished I had a special someone in my life, but I always thought I was alone because I wasn't good enough for anyone. Turns out I just wasn't good enough for myself. Now that I'm getting more comfortable in my own skin I'm more desirous of having a relationship. Physically I'm about as ready as anyone ever was. I'm not saying I'm preoccupied with sex, but I've been in a 6 year dry spell as far as that's concerned. Mentally and emotionally I'm not so sure, I'm definitely better off now than anytime in the last twelve years of my drinking but that being said I still feel incredibly unstable from time to time. Today I decided to work on my 'deep listening' skills, I feel like I've been kind of shallow in that department lately. Snagged the hard drive for the free laptop I got last month today. Now I just need an OS installation disk to make the laptop functional... well it's already function, just useless without an operating system. I've always been pretty tech savvy, I could do a lot with a functioning laptop.
Slowly getting back into the swing of things back in town. It's one of the barista's 'Bad Company' days. I never knew how many great songs they had until I started hanging out here. Today is the first day of my newly invigorated job hunt. Gonna get a bunch of job applications today, hit the job center and then the YMCA and try to reignite my regular workout schedule as well. Donating plasma today, nothing like a 6 mile walk and a plasma donation to clear your head... followed by another six mile walk with 850 milliliters less plasma in your system. Been thinking about Eve a lot lately. I know I shouldn't be a relationship right now, doesn't keep me from wanting one. When I was drinking I always wished I had a special someone in my life, but I always thought I was alone because I wasn't good enough for anyone. Turns out I just wasn't good enough for myself. Now that I'm getting more comfortable in my own skin I'm more desirous of having a relationship. Physically I'm about as ready as anyone ever was. I'm not saying I'm preoccupied with sex, but I've been in a 6 year dry spell as far as that's concerned. Mentally and emotionally I'm not so sure, I'm definitely better off now than anytime in the last twelve years of my drinking but that being said I still feel incredibly unstable from time to time. Today I decided to work on my 'deep listening' skills, I feel like I've been kind of shallow in that department lately. Snagged the hard drive for the free laptop I got last month today. Now I just need an OS installation disk to make the laptop functional... well it's already function, just useless without an operating system. I've always been pretty tech savvy, I could do a lot with a functioning laptop.
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